|
|
Over the next two years, this young man poured his heart and soul into the 'zine, with occasional input from some faithful friends and brothers, but mostly having to do it alone. Two friends in particular offered support and help submitting some writing and graphics work. A growing number of supporters offered moral support, keeping this young man going.
The 'zine gained a pretty good faithful following, including many young adolescents in the young man's neighborhood who received and enjoyed the 'zine. Everybody always looked forward to the next issue and encouraged the young man in his efforts.
Well, burnout was inevitable. As much appreciation and support as the young man received, getting a 10-12 page 'zine out on time every two months was a big job. With the final issue, the young man heaved a big sigh of relief and rested. Periodically, he tried to keep a web version of the 'zine alive but the burnout made it hard and overwhelming. The young man put it down for good and heaved an even bigger sigh of relief. Life In Death would be a fond memory.
It's been a couple years since I was that young man. My passion for working with young kids remains and even has grown. I've been working with behavior problem children the past two years. It has been at the same time the most challenging and the most rewarding experience of my life. Lately I had been feeling burnout again, this time in my career. Today I was reminded of why I love being in this field.
As I was about to clock out and go home, I saw a co-worker in the hallway. He was sitting outside a locked isolation room. I inquired who was in isolation, and he told me. Locked isolation is used when a child is so out of control that no other intervention has been effective. Since I have a fairly good rapport with the boy who was in isolation, I decided to stay and help. I peeked into the room and the boy started cursing at me when he saw me. He was kicking and beating the door uncontrollably. I started talking to him to calm him down. He was unresponsive, but I assured him I'd be there when he was ready to talk. When he seemed to calm down a bit, we took a chance and opened the door. He was still very aggressive and combative, so my co-worker held him while I counseled him. Over the next five minutes we had the boy smiling and resolving the problem. I was reminded why I love what I do.
What did that story have to do with Life In Death? Well, you'll soon understand. A couple months ago I happened to visit my old Life in Death website which was still up and a couple years old. The next day I received an e-mail inquiring about the 'zine. The guy had a cd out and was looking into 'zines who might accept cds for review. I was floored. The burning desire to write again had been nagging at me. Now someone let me know that Life in Death mattered. I decided at that moment that Life in Death would live again. I started gathering up cds and other things and thinking about what other things I would like to include. Planning was in the works. I decided that I would make it a living site that would be updated every time I had something new written. A lesser burden with a higher reward. This will keep the burnout away. I started developing the site, and when it was almost done, the cd arrived from the guy who made the final spark to ignite the fire again. I had all but forgotten about that, but was happy to inform the guy that the site would be going live very soon and that a review would be forthcoming. I was reminded why I love what I do.
I thank God every day for the gifts he has bestowed on me. The ability to write, the talent for working with people--specifically children, the gift of musical ability, and a body of believers who love me and support me. What a wonderful time to be alive, when the Lord rekindles the fires of so many things I love. When the Lord reminds me how much He loves me. When the Lord draws me near as His child. This young man, deserving of nothing. So often I forget the passion of my love for Him, caught in the cares of life. This is a vision renewed.